Life Is Icky

This has been the most emotionally draining series of weeks in my recent memory.

In honor of that fact, I’m working on rebuilding my flagging gratitude muscle.

In no particular order, and overlooking many blessings, I am grateful for. . .

1. Rich relationships with supportive, wonderful people. I’ve been blessed with well beyond my share of heart-level friendships, and I am so thankful for the people who are willing to surround and sharpen me.

2. Truth and the people who aren’t scared to speak it into my life, however hard it may be to hear.

3. Sleep.

4. My parents and their wisdom and willingness to share it.

5. Tears and emotional release.

6. Concealer.

7. Kleenex.

8. Hope that this time (both the struggles of the past few weeks and my never-ending struggle with my time here at CIU) won’t be wasted. Sometimes it’s a grit-my-teeth kind of hope, but that flame has never quit died out.

9. A seminar and subsequent certificate that will enable me to do some solid premarital counseling. Finally, two years into graduate school, I’m starting to look somewhat useful!

10. Singing. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed it until I started again.

11. Peanut butter. You think you know, but you have no idea.

12. The 12 steps. I’ve been working through them in my Addictions Counseling class, and they have been the catalyst of some really horrific realizations about myself. . .realizations which are tempered by a slowly growing understanding of how truly crazy-incredible God is.

13. Grace. I hate that this soul-altering, life-giving concept has been reduced to a pithy catchphrase. It’s mind-blowing to think about, but each time I peel back another layer of my sinfulness, I’m surprised to find grace there waiting for me, too.

Parts of life are terribly messy, and expecting anything different is akin to perpetually banging one’s head against a wall. But I’m hoping that replacing the lens through which I look at life’s mess will free me from the tyranny of unrealistic expectation, thus allowing me to push through the ‘ick’ while truly, deeply, enjoying the good. I hope that makes sense–my thoughts are meandering tonight. It’s bed time and a half up in hurr, so I must be off.

In the meantime, feel free to give a shout-out regarding the things for which you are currently thankful. A little gratitude never hurt anyone.

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One thought on “Life Is Icky

  1. I am so proud of you. You are so brave. You have stepped out of your comfort zone and gone deep with the Lord. He has you in the Palm of His Hand. And He is Good. All the time.

    love,
    allison:)

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