I’ve been thinking and writing myself in circles, trying to pin down what God’s been doing in my life.
But it hasn’t been possible to date, so instead I leave you with a few thoughts on worry written by someone far wiser than I and passed on to me by my daddy.
“. . .Naomi is convinced that God is sovereign, but she is not at all convinced that he is good. Have you ever been there before? We all worry at times–we all have problems that weigh on our minds, problems related to health or love or money. I think there are times we feel like we need to worry, like if we don’t worry, God won’t pay attention. We can feel that our worry is effectual, like it is effective, like it gains the ear of God.
If I stopped worrying, God would stop providing; I just knew it. I truly believed that my worry was effectual, bringing about what I desired. I had to worry, didn’t I? If I didn’t worry, who would? If I didn’t worry, God would think I was complacent about the money and wouldn’t provide. My part was to worry and his was to provide.
Every time I worried, every time I lay awake at night, I declared that I still did not trust him to provide for us. I declared that my faith was weak. I declared that I had missed the many, many lessons he had been trying to teach me about his care and provision. My worrying did not bring God closer to me; actually, my worrying pushed God away from me. It was untrusting, it was anti-faith, it was the opposite prayer.
And God was good to me still.”
—Tim Challies, italics mine